Tuesday, January 3, 2012

In Praise of Body Hair

Body hair is one of those things that I don't really understand people disliking. I mean, I understand how shaving or waxing can make you look more neat, whether it's your pubic hair or your chest, and ok, to be honest, I can understand having your back shaved or waxed, especially if it's uneven. But other than for a brief dabbling with the novelty of smooth skin, or if you do a lot of roleplay where being shaved makes sense (like ageplay, for example) I just don't understand it.

I don't shave my armpits, and I don't shave my pubic hair. I like the way the hair looks on my body- in fact, I often wish it was a little thicker. I particularly love the way the boy buries his face in it. I shave my legs sometimes, and it's definitely a concession to fashion, though I'm less fastidious about it since my girlfriend said she liked it when I didn't shave my legs, because it seemed more intimate.

I find hair, particularly pubic hair, to be incredibly sensual. And even more, I love the way the labia peeks out from it- it seems naughty for some reason, but adorable at the same time. People complain about hair in the teeth, but to be honest it just takes a little skill to deal with that tactfully and without the other person knowing. And I'd rather than hair in my mouth than ingrown hairs near my tongue... ick!

There's a lot of support for this idea that pubic hair or armpit hair is somehow dirty, and while that's focused on women, men are starting to pick up on it too. Hairless rates are going up, and it's not as rare anymore to find men having their own beauty salons to get tweezed and waxed. I've met many women who wrinkle their noses at the idea of pubic hair.

And I find it kind of sad, because I love the way that hair traps that musky smell my body just sings out to, I love the wiry softness of chest hair against my cheek, the fuzz on a boy's bottom, the tuft over a girl's clitoris. I don't think of myself as a "hairy sex worker", but I suppose I am- it's weird to me that hair is a fetish, not the norm.

At the same time, I'm a big believer in body modifications. I guess what always concerns me is the idea that people are changing their bodies, not out a conscious desire to claim their body, but rather to blend in, to not be treated with disgust by a lover. Is it coincidence that Debby Herbenick's studies on sexually acitve women and pubic hair show that women receiving oral sex or not in monogamous relationships are far more likely to remove their hair? I don't think so. I remember when a lover told me my pubic area smelled "weird"- later I discovered it was because I was ovulating. I never let him go down on me again. It was incredibly upsetting, and, years later, I still worry about it.

Whether you shave it off, trim it neatly or let it run wild and thick, reflect on why- is it for a partner? For you? Or for society?

7 comments:

Nadia West said...

It's funny that you should post this as I've been having my own ponder about pubic hair. I've recently let a patch of hair grow in after many years of shaving all but a landing strip, and even though it's just over the pubic mound I'm not happy with it.

I fully support a woman's right to not shave, but I've always personally disliked most body hair. I see it as something that gets in the way of skin touching skin. A caress feels better to me on bare skin than with hair in between. You can see all the intricate folds of labia better without hair in the way.

I don't think my view is the "right" one - people shouldn't feel pressured to shave their naturally occurring body hair unless they want to. But I suppose preferences run the gamut as with any other physical feature.

Dagny said...

I don't shave mine, much, except to keep it neat. Mine is unruly. The reason I don't shave it all off is that it's so thick and dark that it can so easily turn into stubble, and it's so farking uncomfortable growing back in and I don't have the time to shave it daily. I can't handle pain well so waxing is a no-no.

I do wish I could just get rid of all of it. I don't like receiving oral in general so at least that's not a problem, but I know so many men and women seem to think it looks better down there without hair. I'm actually pretty ashamed of it, sometimes. It feels so unfeminine.

That's me done being painfully honest.

Kendra Holliday said...

The reason why people shave their body hair is because they want to distance themselves from other animals as much as possible. That's right - they'd rather be a mannequin than a monkey. I got news for ya - monkeys have more fun! I did this youtube vid about my hairy armpits and how some people think they are "nasty" but more people think they are sexy: http://youtu.be/hLChg15s20g

I love my super hairy beast man! I love his hairy back! I get pissed when he shaves his ears! hee xoxo

Bianca James said...

I've written a bit about this recently: http://www.edencafe.com/loving-my-hot-pink-bush/ Seems to be a hot topic lately- I know an academic who is writing a book about it, and one of my editors at another website grew hers out as an experiment, too.

I shaved everything for years, but now I leave a triangle and my pit hair, and I'm digging it, especially since I dye it fun colors. But I feel like folks should have the freedom to keep it the way they please- and actually I've shaved when I've had boyfriend's that have hated that I shave, so I'm pretty damn sure I'm doing it for me. There's really nothing wrong with enjoying being smooth, anymore than enjoying being hairy.

ALB said...

My attitude about body hair could be called "exasperated resignation." Some ladies are into the Wookie look, others like their partner sleek and hairless, but I'm pleasing neither camp. And since I'm rather tired of snipping and shaving places that don't seem to want the attention and am liable to hear complaints either way I think I'm just going to make it look respectable in my own eyes and say the hell with the rest.

FuzzyK said...

I'm a fan of body hair and leave my pubes long and full most of the time. I love how they feel and I love to have them tugged on but I do get a little bit self-conscious with new lovers. I live in L.A. and I sometimes feel as if I'm the only woman in the area who doesn't wax or shave. I've actually had a few complaints from lovers who wanted me to remove it but I ended up removing the lovers instead. I just don't feel right with a naked vulva and the stubble/grow-back phase is miserable.

englishthorn said...

Thanks for this. I'd love to see more body hair on women in porn and mainstream media. I leave most of my body hair intact - for me it's a cost-vs-benefits decision. I can see the appeal of smooth bare skin but I can't stand the hassle involved. I also don't have any big problems with hair - it feels fine and it doesn't look so bad really.

However I do have one insecurity in this area - I feel really nervous about dressing "sexily". I'm comfortable fully clothed or completely naked but in lingerie or similar I am just so conscious of the hair that doesn't exist in the photos of lingerie models or porn stars. This is the one thing I need to deal with still.

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